God would never have created a system where people spend so much of their lives thinking about God.
We should have sex miseducation in schools. “Girls, size does not matter. Every penis is perfect. Okay, next question.”
"The Hills Have Eyes." Which, yeah, that would be pretty weird. But if that’s it, so what? Poke them in the eye. Move on. Worst horror movie ever.
She said she wanted someone who would love her at her worst, and I said, you mean worse than this, and now we don’t talk.
“I want to be with someone who adores me.” [Chews with her mouth open.] “Good luck.”
Anybody here ever have shock therapy? Well, you’re a bunch of cunts. Feel better?
“We Sold a Zoo at a Terrific Loss.”
You call yourself a Christian, but not a male robe or a leather sandal in the entire house.
The Bible says love your neighbor as yourself. So, the Bible says to jack off your neighbor.
This fly took to walking on the floor to try to evade me. Can you believe that? To try to evade me. But these kinds of old world tactics won’t fly. Literally. Soon, it took to the air again. And then the age-old game was once again upon us. But, unlike my primordial enemy, I have upgraded my weapons. The conclusion was foregone.
I spent time in the steam room today, because my trainer said it would rid me of toxins. And yet I still remember you.
Believe in Jesus! So much easier than thinking about shit!
Dump Jesus into your mind!
I followed the exit sign, and, yet, I am still here.
I’m going to straighten some things out with this iron.
I followed the exit sign, and, yet, I am still here. On this planet, in this dimension, living this life. It’s all a lie. A dirty, dirty lie.
Somebody needs to create marijuana infused pork chops. Only -- and I mean only -- so that they can use the slogan “High on the Hog.”
So, you have seven Pyrex bowls, but only five Pyrex lids. What are the odds that you’re going to constantly need more lids, but never do anything about the problem? Show your work.
More like always a dull moment.
If you haven’t made love on the back of a charging bull elephant, well, you just don’t know.
Still trying to write the Great American Navel. Will let you know.